Mr. Collins - not a role model

 I've long enjoyed Joy Clarkson's podcast Speaking with Joy. She consistently gives insightful commentary, book reviews, author interviews, and, my favorite, a series where she considers a topic through art, music, and reading. She has brought much joy and beauty into my life. I am a much happier, wiser, more fully human because she, and her sister, have brought joy and beauty to my life and, more importantly, taught me how and why I must look for and create joy and beauty. When she announced she was writing a book, Aggressively Happy: A Realist Guide's Guide to Believing in the Goodness of Life, I immediately pre-ordered it, knowing I would enjoy it. I've only had time to skim, and she delivers. There is much to gain for those of us with a melancholy nature. At the end of each chapter, she even included the elements I mentioned above of something to read, see, listen to, and ponder for each topic she takes up. I can easily recommend it. 

 One of Joy's gifts is asking us to consider or re-consider some of our long-held beliefs, deepening some, amending others, and discarding a few. For example, she convinced me thoroughly that some of the male characters of Jane Austen's novels needed to be held to a higher standard than some of us allowed, looking at you, Edward Ferrars and Edmund Bertram.

In Pride and Prejudice, she even seeks to rehabilitate our understanding of Mr. Collins, the Anglican priest and heir to Longbourn. You can read an excerpt here https://www.plough.com/en/topics/culture/literature/why-we-should-envy-mr-collins or, better yet, buy the book. 

In her defense of Mr. Collins and call to emulate him, she points out:

 

 ... for all his flaws, there is a simplicity to Mr. Collins that I admire and enjoy. He lives in a small and imperturbable world where all that matters is Fordyce’s sermons, the securement of a wife for the increase of his happiness, and the distinguished patronage of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. And while we’re all laughing at him, Mr. Collins lives in a state of domestic felicity, blessed with a stable life, a meaningful job, and excellent in-laws, satisfied with the choices he has made in life.

 

Mr. Collins, according to Joy, has developed the ability to enjoy his life, "...no joy too small to celebrate," regardless of circumstances. She believes he possesses contentment and contrasts him with Mr. Wickham, whose avarice is on full display . 

She contends that he attempted to do right by the Bennets in choosing Elizabeth to be his wife. Had she said yes, neither her sisters nor her mother would have needed to find another home as we see the Dashwoods do in Sense and Sensibility. Following Elizabeth's refusal, Mr. Collins moves on to Charlotte, Lizzy's best friend, in what Joy calls learning "to privately accept rejection in a way that feeds neither bitterness nor helplessness. " She sees him as someone who does "... not care too much of what other people think [of him]." 

I took time to consider her unique viewpoint. Joy does a wonderful job at describing the practice of contentment and its benefits, the role of personal dignity, and the need to live a quiet life, but I cannot see this illustrated in the life of Mr. Collins. I concluded that while Mr. Collins may be content, his contentment is not grown in the rich soil of humility and gratitude, but in the hubris he shows in his constant comparing of himself and his situation to others. There is simply too much evidence that Collins is a warning to us, not someone we should 'be like.'  While she contrasts Mr. Collins "contentment" and Mr. Wickham's avarice to make her point about Mr. Collins's practice of contentment, I think a study of the differences between Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy produces a richer understanding of both men, especially of Mr. Collins as a warning, not as an emulation. This approach deepens the theme of contentment by seeing the humility required for genuine contentment. 

Let's start with the title of the book, Pride and Prejudice. Austen gives us an abundance of characters, not just the lead couple, who are stricken with both vices by nature and nurture. She brings up Mr. Darcy's lack of tact as one example of someone whose pride would make him annoying and selfish if we judge him on the same merits as Mr. Collins. I completely agree. 

To follow Joy's lead, let's look at both men's reactions to Elizabeth's rejection of their proposals. Mr. Collins, after his proposal is met with rejection, attributes it to an attempt on Lizzy's part to "increasing [his] love by suspense." He cannot or rather will not accept and see that she does not see the situation as he does. We are told, "He thought too well of himself to comprehend what motive his cousin could have in refusing him; and though his pride was hurt, he suffered in no other way. His regard for her was quite imaginary;...' Elizabeth is stunned by his 'perseverance in wilful self-deception.' Only after being assured by her mother that, indeed, Lizzy does not accept his proposal does he believe her. He expresses his displeasure with 'stiffness of manner and resentful silence' and 'angry pride.' This is not Mr. Collins taking it on the chin and carrying on in a way to be praised as Joy describes. He does, however, 'carry on.' His 'dignified public acceptance of defeat,' as Joy calls it, was followed by proposing to and marrying her best friend. As Joy points out, he certainly wasn't helpless, but I'm not convinced there are no other motives (bitterness, revenge?) expressed in his proposal to Charlotte. After all, had he been genuinely concerned about the family's welfare, as Joy and he both contend he is,  he could have just as easily proposed to other Bennett sisters and assuredly been accepted by one. His concern for them was not as 'excessively generous and disinterested in his own part' as he thought himself to be.

We see a similar proposal by Mr. Darcy, not in its obsequience or lack of sincerity, but in its arrogance. He finds her attractive in many ways, but as with Mr. Collins, we get the impression that she and her family are considered beneath him. Both men feel they are doing her a favor in proposing in their own way. Fortunately, Elizabeth had enough sense and dignity to see this and reject it from both men. Darcy, we are told, responded with 'no less resentment, than surprise,' smiled with 'affected incredulity,' was 'astonished' with 'mingled incredulity and mortification.' He obviously heard her. He couldn't understand and was offended, but he heard her words and responded to them, quite fervently at the time, unlike Mr. Collins 'wilful self-deception.' His later response in his letter sought not to persuade her further of his proposal; he had far too much dignity to do so but to set the matter straight about Wickham and his interference with Jane Bennet and Mr. Bingley.

He is honest in his response, with one phrase standing out among others. In referring to his actions regarding Jane and Bingley, he says, " If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was unknowingly done and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them." (italics mine). We see in this one sentence two essential characteristics of Darcy. One, acknowledging that his motives appear naturally insufficient to her. He recognizes she can and does have her own views. It is something he admires in her. Two, by saying he has 'not yet learned,' he is open to his motives being wrong, and, as we read the rest of the novel, we see him examine and correct those motives. Darcy has not just the capacity to learn; he does so willingly. At the end of the novel, he even credits Elizabeth's role, as we see here:

 

“I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.”

 

The pride we rightly criticize in Darcy, he sees and works to rectify. His esteem of Elizabeth grants him the ability to be humbled. Collins's esteem of others only gives him more hubris. He acts not on innate dignity but only that which he borrows from his associations with people in power and situations. He is a parasite on others for his "contentment." This is the most significant difference between Collins and Darcy. This reveals what is at the heart of this novel; dignified humility allows us to know when we practice 'wilful self-deception.' True contentment and gratitude grow from humility. Not a virtue Collins nurtures. [note to self: essay on the description of both men's upbringing to show deficits of character training, but the ability to overcome those are rooted in humility as well]

Collins has little humility to enable him to recognize his self-deception. He blames others' rejection of him from his perception of their 'faults.' The virtues of contentment and thankfulness she attempts to see in Mr. Collins result from his pride, not humility and gratitude, and therefore are poorly disguised boasts. He compares in order to boast. His speech is full of comparing others and their situations with his association with Lady Catherine de Bourgh and his situation at Rosings to show his is the better. His contentment is based on his prideful image, not on anything of substance. He uses Lady Catherine De Bourg as a means of his identity to bolster himself in his own eyes and in an attempt to impress others. When Joy writes about his delight in the shelves, it seems to me he does so to show Elizabeth what she could have had.

Where he thoroughly shows his vanity is in the letter he sends to the family when news reaches him of Kitty and Wickham's elopement:

 

"MY DEAR SIR,

 

"I feel myself called upon, by our relationship, and my situation in life, to condole with you on the grievous affliction you are now suffering under, of which we were yesterday informed by a letter from Hertfordshire. Be assured, my dear sir, that Mrs. Collins and myself sincerely sympathise with you and all your respectable family, in your present distress, which must be of the bitterest kind, because proceeding from a cause which no time can remove. No arguments shall be wanting on my part that can alleviate so severe a misfortune—or that may comfort you, under a circumstance that must be of all others the most afflicting to a parent's mind. The death of your daughter would have been a blessing in comparison of this. And it is the more to be lamented, because there is reason to suppose as my dear Charlotte informs me, that this licentiousness of behaviour in your daughter has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence; though, at the same time, for the consolation of yourself and Mrs. Bennet, I am inclined to think that her own disposition must be naturally bad, or she could not be guilty of such an enormity, at so early an age. Howsoever that may be, you are grievously to be pitied; in which opinion I am not only joined by Mrs. Collins, but likewise by Lady Catherine and her daughter, to whom I have related the affair. They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one daughter will be injurious to the fortunes of all the others; for who, as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says, will connect themselves with such a family? And this consideration leads me moreover to reflect, with augmented satisfaction, on a certain event of last November; for had it been otherwise, I must have been involved in all your sorrow and disgrace. Let me then advise you, dear sir, to console yourself as much as possible, to throw off your unworthy child from your affection for ever, and leave her to reap the fruits of her own heinous offense. [note to self: Charlotte's response here is interesting, look more closely at this later]

 

There is nothing pastoral or humble in his response. His hubris is on display; his comparisons, associations, assumptions, and suggestions are all centered on how this would have affected him had he been a member of the immediate family. Darcy, on the other hand, handles the situation quite differently. 

He readily acknowledges his responsibility in the situation, not letting others know of Wickham's character out of his own pride. He then takes more responsibility than is required of him by finding Lydia and Wickham, paying Wickham's debts (again), and providing them means of support and a wedding. He has no qualms about proposing again to Elizabeth even though this will associate him with the Bennets and tie him to Wickham for the rest of his life. He handles it far more pastorally than our Anglican priest, Mr. Collins.

If my criticism of Collins sounds harsh, it is not meant to be. We are meant to laugh at him at times. The basis of that laughter is viewing him as Austen portrays him, as a satirical character. His pompous, poorly veiled, critical spirit and manner deserve our disdain and laughter. We laugh and say ouch at the same time. We feel awkward at his actions and words, then become aware of our own awkward actions and words, and laugh at ourselves. We see his pomposity, and critical spirit and manner, and we see our own and repent. Being able to do so reveals the humility in our hearts. We are asked to see that surrounding ourselves with those whose company will provide iron to sharpen iron, to know our own vices to condemn them, and know the needed virtues to practice. To practice godliness with our contentment.